The Universityʼs LGBTQ+ Center hosted a “Sex in the Darkˮ event at 41 Park Row on March 21. The event featured two panelists, Marshall Miller and Lindsay Fram, who are professional sex educators from the company Sex Discussed Here!, whose mission is to set a new standard for sex education across The United States.
According to Miller, “Sex in the Darkˮ is an event they frequently participate in at other schools nationwide, even revisiting some institutions annually.
Upon arriving, attendees could indulge in a variety of food and drinks. Pride pins, flags, free condoms and lubricant were also available. The event took place in one of the performing art studios on floor 13 of 41 Park Row, and it was just as advertised: very dark. Thankfully, attendees were given glow sticks to wear or hold, preventing the room from being too dark.
The event itself had a low turnout of attendees, but the sex education provided was still very fruitful. Both Miller and Fram emphasized their commitment to providing students with adequate sex education since many students are unable to receive that while attending school in their formative years. Not only that, but sex education given to the youth is oftentimes taboo and subject to misinformation, and it is a part of Miller and Framʼs objective to answer questions about sex that were too uncomfortable to answer before.
Miller and Fram shared a lot of insights with the attendees regarding sex, sexuality and its relation to being a college student. For attendees who wanted to stay anonymous, they presented a messaging platform, Wooclap, that allowed you to submit anonymous messages upon entering a special code to join the roomʼs conversation.
“While in New York and using dating apps, I noticed that many people prefer casual sexual relationships rather than monogamous relationships. Why do you think this is?” one of the students asked.
Fram reassured the student that casual sexual relationships are far from just an issue in New York. She explains how dating apps make people “paralyzed by choice.ˮ According to Fram, while using dating apps, people can connect with anyone they find attractive, but there is always room for more opportunities.
“You could like one person, but then you might say, well, what about the next person I meet? What if they will be my life partner?ˮ Fram elaborated.
She also brings up the phenomenon of situationships and how many refuse to commit solely on the belief that someone is even better out there.
After the conversation about casual relationships ended, the room transitioned to the topic of safe sexual practices, where Miller and Fram gave important advice about the usage of flavored condoms. Miller emphasized how many users of flavored condoms don’t realize that they are for oral sexual use only. Fram elaborated by reinstating that these condoms can cause significant irritation for people with vaginas due to the unnatural ingredients used for the flavoring.
Due to the idea pushed onto youth that sex is taboo, event planners created a nice atmosphere and the room was filled with comfortable, non-judgemental energy essential for a topic such as sex. The environment allowed students to get their questions asked by people who wouldn’t ridicule them for asking genuine questions. Rather than performing sexual acts without education, it is Miller and Framʼs goal to have the students walk away with valuable information to not only make sex safe but also make sex less of a tedious action to many. The pair emphasizes that sex is natural, and we should not be ashamed or shame others for having questions or concerns.
“What do you think Pace students should know?” another student asked.
Miller wishes Pace students recognized how important consent is, and Fram agreed but also stated how important it is to know your own body.
Near the end of the event, the pair gifted prizes to three attendees: a book on orgasms, a Sex in the Dark t-shirt that glows in the dark and a $25 gift card to an adult store based in Chicago that can also be ordered online. They spun a wheel with the attendees’ names. After everyone received their prizes, the event concluded, with the speakers giving opportunities to talk to students one-on-one.
All the students walked away with gratitude and abundant knowledge regarding sex, sexuality, and sexual wellness. On behalf of the Universityʼs LGBTQ Center and Commuter Life, the University was very lucky to receive such educated individuals to speak to Paceʼs students. Hopefully, in the future, Miller and Fram can come back and speak to even more students about sexual wellness.
