Kim and Pete: A Relationship From a Horrifying Alternate Dimension

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Credit: @flavaflavofficial on Instagram

Kendal Neel, Business Manager

Attention loyal readers! Attention loyal readers! I am here to notify you that we have officially left this dimension and crossed into a universe where America’s favorite stoner boyfriend, Pete Davidson, has supposedly entered into a relationship with the business mogul and fashion icon herself, Kim Kardashian. There must be something in the water in Hidden Hills because it appears that all of the Kardashian women have succumbed to the bad boy infatuation. However, unlike Kourtney and Travis’ ultra passionate relationship that seems to be nothing but rainbows and butterflies, Kim and Pete’s whirlwind affair seems a little less than authentic to those bearing witness. As always, zodiac signs are here to save the day and help us crack the code on whether those viral paparazzi pictures are truly the real deal. 

Credit: @TMZ on Instagram

 

Sun Signs: Libra & Scorpio (Cardinal Air/Fixed Water)

 

Right off the bat, the stars tell us that this is anything but a harmonious match made in heaven. Kim is a Libra sun which means she’s all about image!  In true Libra fashion, she’s proven that she’s a woman who can do it all and look polished while doing it.  From her legendary fashion moments that have branded her as a permanent trendsetter to her ongoing legal activism geared towards wrongfully convicted inmates, everything about Kim’s appearance has been curated to ensure that her brand lives on…even if that means dating Hollywood’s “it” boy for the inevitable publicity. 

 

Pete, on the other hand, is the living, breathing incarnation of the male Scorpio stereotype. Unlike Kim, Pete has a notorious reputation for not having it all together…like ever. When he’s not cracking jokes at his own expense on Saturday Night Live, there remains an air of mystery around him that makes the world wonder who Pete Davidson really is. His past exes have noted that when it comes to relationships, Pete lets his true Scorpio nature come out to play and has often been called “intense” and even “disastrous” at times. While Kim may appreciate the way Pete’s devil-may-care attitude balances out her indecisive and people-pleasing tendencies, she’s probably not going to appreciate a partner who can’t hold it together in the face of the public eye in the long-run. 

 

Moon Signs: Pisces & Capricorn (Mutable Water/Cardinal Earth) 

 

This moon pairing isn’t showing much more promise than the sun signs, though with a whole lot of communication and maybe a million dollar couples therapist, I’m sure they could make it work. Kim’s moon is in Pisces which  probably explains  her family oriented nature and why it has never changed with her rise to fame over the years. Her Pisces placement reveals that behind that manicured Libra smile lies a deeply emotional and empathetic human being who craves someone that will understand her deepest needs and desires in a relationship. 

 

Meanwhile, Pete’s moon is in Capricorn meaning that he’s typically not as in touch with his emotional side. Capricorns tend to repress their emotions in the name of responsibility, and out of fear that someone may finally break their cold heart of steel. This might spell trouble for Kim and Pete as she may often find herself longing for a softer side of him that allows her to connect with him on a deeper level. However, Pete is also known to be a bit of a mama’s boy so he might appreciate Kim’s more maternal and nurturing side as it makes him feel safe in her presence. 

 

Mercury Signs: Scorpio & Scorpio (Fixed Water/Fixed Water) 

 

Thankfully, this pair appears to be compatible in the communication department and we all know that communication is key when it comes to a healthy relationship. Both Kim and Pete have their Mercury in Scorpio which means that they’re both drawn to intensity, depth, and drama. This Scorpio placement reveals that this pair is also highly emotionally intelligent and can sense inauthenticity from a mile away. They value complete honesty and realism above all else and will appreciate that they can both give each other a much-needed reality check when the spotlight hits a little too close to home. 

 

Venus Signs: Virgo & Scorpio (Mutable Earth/Fixed Water) 

 

Similar to their moon signs, this Venus pairing needs work to be successful. Kim’s Venus is in Virgo which means she has exceptionally high standards when it comes to a life partner. Nevertheless, once she has found that person, her loyalty will be unwavering and true. Although her romantic side may seem a little detached at first, rest assured that it’s only because she’s hyper-cautious when it comes to who she lets inside her walls. Kim’s ultimate goal when it comes to love is to build a relationship with someone she sees as her equal.

 

Pete’s Venus is in Scorpio which means that he possesses a kind of mysterious and undeniable magnetism that has the power to draw in the most resistant of hearts. His Scorpio Venus gives him quiet confidence that may be attractive to a self-assured Virgo Venus. Pete’s Scorpio Venus signifies that he, too, has a set of steely walls built up around him as he waits for “the one.” However, rather than a partner who will be his equal, Pete is looking for a soulmate and twin flame that he can completely merge with emotionally, sexually, and spiritually. He desires someone who is willing to fall victim to the all-consuming type of love. 

 

Mars Signs: Sagittarius & Sagittarius (Mutable Fire/Mutable Fire) 

 

When it comes to the bedroom, these two have no problem reading each other! They’re both spicy lovers who love to experiment and take a walk on the wild side every now and then.  They both tend to be free-spirited and energetic lovers who view sex as a fleeing and spontaneous moment of passion that is not to be taken too seriously. Although not essential, healthy and compatible sex life can help foster a deeper connection in the long run. In the case of Pete and Kim, both of them are constantly living life in the spotlight which means that it might be good for them to be able to similarly release their stress and inhibitions through sexual intimacy. 

 

So what’s the verdict, you might ask? Am I convinced that these two are emotionally entangled…no, but I certainly wouldn’t be surprised to find out that these two are engaging in some seriously hot and heavy pillow talk. Despite the uncertainty, I have to say I’m enjoying this supposed pairing as odd and unlikely as they may be. Nevertheless, the fiery flames of passion can only last so long and I suspect that this torrid affair will die out along with the dimming flash of the paparazzi cameras.